I was playing with children on the
playground as I do every Sunday evening. They were happy, some with minor
behavioral issues but each radiating happiness no matter how small their
current room was, or how hurt they were by the actions of their family members.
I remember one Sunday specifically. It was a day where everything seemed fine
until someone spoke up. On this Sunday, I watched a girl slide down the slide
and stop abruptly. She appeared distraught. I went to investigate what was happening
with the girl. She told me she missed
her father no matter how mean he was to her and her mother . She followed up
the conversation by saying, “He can’t really control it, though. I still love
him.” The girl, approximately five years old, gave me a glimpse into a world I
never experienced as a child.
According
to the National Center for Victims of Crime, in 2010 more than one-half million
crimes of domestic violence were reported (2012). The United States Office on
Violence Against Women defines domestic violence as a “pattern of abusive
behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain
power and control over another intimate partner” (Legal Profession Assistance
Conference of the Canadian Bar Association, 2013). Often times the public is
unaware of such crimes occurring throughout their own communities. Spousal
violence is one type of domestic violence and can be caused by various factors.
Based upon studies and various services, there are a variety of ways to decrease
marital violence.
Four main theories have been developed
to describe spousal violence (Cho, 2007,
p. 24). These include the psychopathology theory, the social learning theory,
the resource theory, and the feminist theory. The psychopathology theory
explains the causes for violence among different types of males (Cho, 2007, p.
25). This theory believes men are violent toward women because these men have a
personality disorder or mental illness and a desire to control their partner in
order to reduce negative feelings (Cho, 2007, p. 25). The social learning
theory supports the concept that those exposed to violence during their
childhood end up in violent relationships when they become older (Cho, 2007, p.
26). Family is a power system described by Cho as the “ability of one
individual to influence the other” and comes into question during application
of the resource theory (2007, p. 27). The resource theory explains how family
is a power system and affected by resources (Cho, 2007, p. 27). If one spouse
possesses more resources than another does, that person brings more power to the relationship
(Cho, 2007, p. 27). The resources mentioned include success, prestige,
position, love, gifts, jobs, services, and other resources (Cho, 2007, p. 27).
When a lack of resources presents itself, violence is used as an ultimate
resource (Cho, 2007, p. 28). The feminist theory focuses on the concept of
patriarchy in a family, where abuse stems from patriarchal society (Cho, 2007,
p. 28). Social and economic processes support male-dominated social orders and
family structures (Cho, 2007, p. 28). Violence occurs when men want more control in their family
structure (Cho, 2007, p. 28).
Not one of the theories presented
can explain all cases of spousal violence. Many other factors influence spousal
violence as well. Socio-economic status is a major factor contributing to
spousal violence (Cho, 2007, p. 31). Studies have shown that low-income
families are more vulnerable to witnessing abuse as a child and produce
economic instability leading to violence (Cho, 2007, p. 31). Children
witnessing violence at home begin to
believe that violence is the way to solve their problems and display violence
too (Cho, 2007, p. 32). Lack of social
support increases a women’s risk of abuse (Cho, 2007, p. 33). Some people are
abused due to the acceptance of traditional gender roles (Cho, 2007, p. 36).
Depression of partners can also lead to violence (Cho, 2007, p. 39).
Twenty-five to fifty percent of spousal violence is related to use of alcohol
(Cho, 2007, p. 40). Alcohol use and addiction as well as anger lead to
psychological aggression resulting in physical abuse (Cho, 2007, p. 40). This
only begins to describe some varying factors, which cause the heartache of
spousal domestic violence.
Spousal violence and violence in an
intimate relationship are quite similar. Very few differences separate the two
types of violence. A main factor separating the two types of violence is that
children are often times involved in spousal violence. When a child is present,
separation between the two partners becomes even more challenging. Another
difference is the phases present in spousal violence, not typically displayed
in violence within an intimate relationship. These phases, defined by the Legal
Profession Assistance Conference of the Canadian Bar Association, include the
honeymoon phase, tension building phase, and acting-out phase (2013). The
honeymoon phase is characterized by affection, apology, and apparent end of
violence. The violent partner has feelings of sadness and remorse. The tension
building phase includes poor communication, tension, and fear of causing
outbursts. Outbursts of violent and abusive incidents are displayed in the
acting-out phase (2013).
Solutions exist to reduce marital domestic
violence. The obvious solution is national awareness and education (National
Council on Child Abuse & Family Violence, 2013). Many educated students and
adults are naïve about the prevalence of domestic violence throughout the
United States. Those who are aware of it are unaware of the plethora of
services provided for those who need assistance. Awareness can and should occur through public service announcements and
social media advertisements. A main issue with implementing this solution is
funding. Much of the funding currently available for marital domestic violence
is used to support systems of aide and not overall awareness. If we increase
our focus on preventing the problem before it occurs, we may be able to
decrease the amount of marital domestic violence thus reducing the overall funds
expended on the issue over time.
Another solution is to increase the
current shelters available for domestic violence victims. According to the South
Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault, since 1964
more than 1800 shelters have been established in the United States for victims
of domestic violence (2011). Those who use the services of the shelters receive legal assistance, counseling
for themselves and their children, support, and protection (2013). The issue with
shelters is the inability of people in a violent, abusive situation to leave the
unhealthy environment to get to the shelters. According to the United States
Department of Health and Human Services, partners may attempt to make the
abused individual feel as if the abuse
is his/her fault (2011). The Department also found women remain in abusive relationships
because they have little or no money to support their family (2011). Other
women grew up and married during a time when domestic violence was tolerated,
so they do not understand the meaning of a healthy relationship (2011). Another
problem faced by women who receive assistance at shelters is that many victims
return to their abuser (Legal Profession Assistance Conference of the Canadian
Bar Association, 2013). Shelters typically house women only. Although females
are four times more likely to be victims of domestic violence than males, males
can also be victims (National Center for Victims of Crime, 2012). Abused males
have very few current options.
Research uncovered that lasting
independence from an abusive partner usually occurs only after the abused victim
is provided with legal assistance (2012). Increased funding for legal
assistance may, in fact, be the ultimate key to reducing spousal domestic
violence. According to the South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence
and Sexual Assault, all fifty states have domestic violence laws (2011).
Programs have also developed for offenders in the court system to obtain
assistance. For example, group therapy encourages men to examine their
attitudes about what it means to be a man (2011). The main problem with this
solution is the complexity of the court system. Many of the procedural requirements
are tedious and convoluted, discouraging women from following through while
others are unaware assistance is available to them. Solutions presented,
however costly, have proven to be effective in decreasing spousal violence.
The young girl who provided me a glimpse
into her world never returned to our Sunday evening activities. I am uncertain if
she and her mother returned to her father or went elsewhere in the community. I
can only hope she and her mother received the assistance they needed. This
girl, like many children I play with each week, opened up to me, introducing me
into a world of violence and hurt. All I can do for her and others though, is show
them my world. A world where violence is not the answer, communication is key,
and healthy relationships are the only types worth investing in. Today, my world and the children’s worlds are
different. Someday, I truly hope these worlds become the same positive one I
live in today.
References
Cho, I. J. (2007). The Effects of Individual, Family, Social, and Cultural Factors on
Spousal Abuse in Korean American Male Adults. (Doctoral dissertation).
ProQuest LLC.
Legal Profession Assistance Conference of
the Canadian Bar Association (2013). Intimate
Partner Violence. Retrieved from
http://www.lpac.ca/main/Courses_01/violence.aspx
National Center for Victims of Crime
(2012). Domestic/Partner Intimate
Violence. Retrieved from
http://www.victimsofcrime.org/library/crime-information-and-statistics/domestic-partner-intimate-violence
National Council on Child Abuse &
Family Violence (2013). Spouse/Partner
Abuse Information. Retrieved from http://www.nccafv.org/spouse.htm
SC
Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault (2011). Overview of Domestic Violence. Retrieved
from http://www.sccadvasa.org/domestic-violence-facts-and-stats/overview-of-domestic-violence.html
U.S. Department of Health and Human
Services (2011). Domestic and intimate
partner violence. Retrieved from http://womenshealth.gov/violence-against-women/types-of-violence/domestic-intimate-partner-violence.cfm
"Essay submitted for the Charles R. Ullman & Associates Scholarship, 2013. www.divorcelawnc.com"
