All of this leads me to the stress over college right now. College is not cheap. Especially when you plan on going to an out of state school. And although scholarships out there are plentiful, there are not as many as they make it seem. And even with those scholarships they have all these strange requirements and you have to be a certain ethnicity or you have to play a certain instrument, none of which usually apply to me. In all this categorizing, I feel though as if segregation is as strong as ever. By telling someone they can't apply for something just because they aren't a certain skin color… doesn't that seem a bit racist?
All of the financial need stuff is also driving me crazy. My mom works hard and has worked hard her whole life. Growing up in a poorer family and being the first to graduate from college was a big deal. She makes a fair amount of money and I will most likely not qualify for financial aid. For some reason they schools think that if a child's parent has enough money to live, than the child will have plenty of money to pay for school. This is WRONG. Just because my mom could pay for my school doesn't mean she is going to. So the children who get a bunch of financial aid won't have loans to pay off once they graduate but those who have more money to begin with still have to get loans that will need to be paid off after graduation. This situation could be detrimental to their future. Is this really right? Like I realize that people need help in paying for college and I think it's good that the government will help, but there comes a point where discrimination is all throughout the process. And the process seems altogether corrupt.
Choosing a college is hard. There are so many colleges out there that I could go to and would probably work for me. When trying to decide what college will be the right fit, I have no clue. Everyone says when I see it, I will know. But to be completely honest, I don't think that will happen. I've spent way too many hours of my life on my computer doing research. I do realize college is four years of my life I will never get back, but I can adjust. I think I know exactly what I want to do with my life. And I'm a flexible person. I make friends easily and am capable of fitting into most situations. So why is this so hard? Is it because my mother had heard way too many "my daughter hated where she was at so much she had to come home" stories? I don't know. But whatever it is, life should not be this complicated.
Everything I do in high school seems like it's necessary for college, but once I get into college none of it matters. I can be the most involved person, but when I get to college people look at me with new eyes. No one will know me and my reputation I have worked so hard to build. Yet, I wouldn't trade everything I'm involved in now for anything (well maybe some more sleep would be nice, but still). Everything I do and accomplish makes me a stronger and better person. Yet, I just don't understand why so much hard work is required to get into college. Is studying for the ACT and SAT really worth my time? When in the future will what I study for those tests be used. I mean come on. The least they could do is give us a test over how to drive or something that you actually need to know in order to survive in today's society.